Some Oldies But Goodies...

TEACHER:  Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA:    Here it  is.

TEACHER:  Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS:    Maria.

JENN, GERMANY

TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,

but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:        Because George still had the axe in his hand.

BECKY, PHILADELPHIA

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:    H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.

CAROLINE, ENGLAND


TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:    A teacher.

EMILY, JAPAN


TEACHER:   Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  '
MILLIE:     I  is..
TEACHER:   No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE:   All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

KATIE, INDONESIA


TEACHER:    Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:    Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

LOLA, UTAH


TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:     You told me to do it without using tables.

MAY, GERMANY


TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:    Me!

RIKAKO, JAPAN


TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:   No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

SARAH, GEORGIA


TEACHER:    Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:     K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'.
TEACHER:    No, that's wrong.
GLENN:  Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

WANDA, MONTREAL

TEACHER:  Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same

as your brother's.   Did you copy his?

CLYDE:   No, sir. It's the same dog.

BUCKEROOMAMA, HONG KONG

The many rewards of being a teacher... gems like these!

Per gallon... {a little persepective.}

Diet Snapple {16 oz }$1.29 ... $10.32 per gallon

Becky, Philadelphia

Lipton Ice Tea {16 oz} $1.19 ...........$9.52 per gallon

Buckeroomama, Hong Kong

Gatorade {20 oz} $1.59 ...... $10.17 per gallon

Sarah, Georgia

Ocean Spray {16 oz}  $1.25 .......... $10.00 per gallon

Rikako, Japan

Brake Fluid {12 oz} $3.15 ...... $33.60 per gallon

May, Germany

Vick's Nyquil {6 oz} $8.35.... $178.13 per gallon

Maddy, NYC/New Jersey

Pepto Bismol {4 oz} $3.85 ....$123.20 per gallon

Lola, Utah

Whiteout {7 oz} $1.39 ....... . $25.42 per gallon

Caroline, England

Scope {1.5 oz} $0.99 ......$84.48 per gallon

Emily, Japan

And the REAL KICKER is ....

Jennifer, Germany

Evian water {9 oz}  $1.49...... $21.19 per gallon!

Kat, Australia

Why are printers so cheap?

{Because the getcha in the door, and GOUGE you on the ink!!}

Printer Ink ......$5,200 a gal. 

{Five thousand two hundred dollars! Yikes!}

Happy Wednesday!

Proverbs {as told by first graders}

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest:

As you shall make your bed so shall you... mess it up.
Becky, Philadelphia


Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the... bug is close.
Wanda, Canada


It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.

Never underestimate the power of... termites.
Buckeroomama, Hong Kong


You can lead a horse to water but... how?

Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.

No news is... impossible.
Caroline, England


A miss is as good as a... Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new... math.
Sonya, Netherlands


If you lie down with the dogs, you'll... stink in the morning. 

Emily, Japan


Love all, trust... me.

Lola, Utah


The pen is mightier than the... pigs.

An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
Isabel, Malaysia


Where there's smoke, there's... pollution.

Happy the bride who... gets all the presents!

A penny saved is... not much.
Jen, Germany


Two's company, three's... the Musketeers.

Don't put off tomorrow what... you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
Maddy, New Jersey


None are so blind as... Helen Keller.

Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
Rikako, Japan


You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.

There is no fool like... Aunt Eddie. 

Sarah, Atlanta

Found here.

Why wait for the weekend....

Buckeroomama, Hong Kong

Sonya, The Netherlands

Lola, Utah

Becky, Philadelphia

Jen, Philippines

Sarah, Georgia

Wanda, Canada

Jennifer, Germany

Rikako, Japan

Katie, Indonesia

Emily, Japan


...to have fun?!

Enjoy everyday as much you do the weekends!!

A Light Exists in Spring

A light exists in spring
Not present on the year
Sonya, The Netherlands

Lola, Utah

At any other period.
When March is scarcely here
Becky, Philadelphia

Jen, Philippines

A color stands abroad
On solitary hills
Isabel, Malaysia

Sarah, Georgia

That science cannot overtake,
But human nature feels.
Caroline, England

Wanda, Montreal

It waits upon the lawn;
It shows the furthest tree
Jennifer, Germany

Rikako, Japan

Upon the furthest slope we know;
It almost speaks to me.
Katie, Indonesia

Then, as horizons step,
Or noons report away,
May, Germany

Without the formula of sound,
It passes, and we stay:
Emily, Japan

A quality of loss
Affecting our content,
Buckeroomama, Hong Kong

As trade had suddenly encroached
Upon a sacrament.
Maddy, New Jersey/ NYC 

Poem by Emily Dickinson