Some Oldies But Goodies...

TEACHER:  Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA:    Here it  is.

TEACHER:  Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS:    Maria.

JENN, GERMANY

TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,

but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:        Because George still had the axe in his hand.

BECKY, PHILADELPHIA

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:    H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.

CAROLINE, ENGLAND


TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:    A teacher.

EMILY, JAPAN


TEACHER:   Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  '
MILLIE:     I  is..
TEACHER:   No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE:   All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

KATIE, INDONESIA


TEACHER:    Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:    Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

LOLA, UTAH


TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:     You told me to do it without using tables.

MAY, GERMANY


TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:    Me!

RIKAKO, JAPAN


TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:   No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

SARAH, GEORGIA


TEACHER:    Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:     K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'.
TEACHER:    No, that's wrong.
GLENN:  Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

WANDA, MONTREAL

TEACHER:  Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same

as your brother's.   Did you copy his?

CLYDE:   No, sir. It's the same dog.

BUCKEROOMAMA, HONG KONG

The many rewards of being a teacher... gems like these!